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Let's Talk About It: SELF-HARM

Today is Self-Injury Awareness Day, a global awareness event meant to bring attention to the reality of self-harm in hopes of helping those who engage in it. This is one of those topics that we tend to avoid, as inflicting physical harm on oneself can seem illogical and frightening. Understanding why someone self-harms and how to respond to it can be difficult. 

FACT: Talking about self-harm or suicide with someone does not increase the likelihood that someone will engage in it.

In fact, research suggests the opposite. By talking about self-harm or suicidal thoughts and behaviors while gently supporting those who may be struggling, we offer them valuable love and care that can help them significantly during their time of struggle. 

Avoiding topics around mental health, like self-harm, just increases the stigma and shame around it – which sometimes can worsen the behaviors. On this important awareness day, let’s choose a different path and talk about self-harm: what is it, how do we recognize it, and what do we do when someone we love engages in it?

Let’s start with a simple definition. Self-harm, also called non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), is a coping mechanism, usually in response to trauma.

When someone experiences trauma, they can develop a dissociative response to protect themselves from experiencing more pain. Dissociation, as the word suggests, typically involves disconnecting from one’s sense of self – physically, emotionally, or otherwise. Self-harm behaviors release a rush of endorphins which help to self-regulate strong negative emotions or engage physical awareness when feeling emotionally numb.

Side note: It’s important to distinguish between self-harm and suicide. In the case of self-harm, the intention of the act is not to take one’s life. However, this does not mean that self-harm is not dangerous. Those who engage in self-harm are putting their physical health at risk and are more likely to attempt suicide in the future.

According to a study by the American Journal of Public Health, over 17% of teens report engaging in some type of self-injury. The risk is even higher for college students. For some individuals, self-harm can involve cutting, burning, head-banging, or interfering with healing wounds. These behaviors look different for everyone and range in severity and frequency.

So, what do we do about it? 

Start with empathy and compassion. If you suspect someone is engaging in self-harm, ask them gently about it.

Maybe you notice cuts or burns on their wrists, legs, or elsewhere. Or perhaps you find razors or lighters in strange places or see an individual wearing conspicuously baggy clothes or long sleeves in the heat of summer. Do not shame or scold the person or act like they are crazy. Avoid using labels like “cutter.” Use this opportunity to open dialogue around this coping behavior, connect with that individual, and offer them your support.

One of the best things someone engaging in self-harm can do is see a therapist.

A mental health professional can do several things, including helping an individual develop healthy coping mechanisms, develop a self-care plan, and find ways to process and heal from past traumas.

You can always offer resources or helplines like 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Another great resource is Calm Harm, a free app developed by a psychologist and designed to help people move through the urges to self-harm.

It may not feel like you’re doing much, but your support can make a difference for someone. The entire month of March is Self-Injury Awareness Month – be brave and have the conversation about self-harm. It’s always worth it.